So, as some of you know, I recently when through an illuminating – if short lived – period of dating. For those who personally know me, I was actually able to see a good number of women in a short period of time. (Thankfully, that came to an end after I met Lyn.) And as I previously stated, the ladies were all very nice, and it was a pleasure to meet each and every one of them. What this particular article is going deal with is a takeaway from that experience – namely the singular oddness of some things that I encountered on their Facebook pages. That said, let’s get into it.
Disclaimer
I personally loathe Facebook and don’t actually have a “real” personal FB account. The only reason I set one up was so I could create my Philippine Dreams business page. I do make some use of my “fake” account but it is VERY limited. For example, I think I only have around 15 friends on it, and those are there as we like to communicate with the Facebook messenger app which is actually quite handy.
My beef with Facebook is that it encourages narcissistic behavior (touched upon below), collects an excessive amount of personal information (the world’s biggest data mine) and recklessly distributes false information. And although good for hunting down childhood friends, I also believe Facebook is responsible for disconnecting more people from societal realities than actually connecting them.
OK, so enough of that. Here are some of the takeaways that I gained from my time dating and perusing prospective Pinay’s Facebook page. They are in no particular order, and if I missed something, be sure to add it in the comment section below so I can update it.
Filipinos Love Facebook
The Philippines is the number one user of social media in the world. Period. Out of a total population of 101 million, there are 47 million registered Facebook accounts in the Philippines. And since there are so many users, I would usually try to get their Facebook address early so that I could switch to FB messenger. It would also give me an opportunity to peruse their posts and try to get a deeper (or more shallow, in Facebook’s case) understanding of who I was talking to.
Quick Aside: In addition to social media, the Philippines just came in at number one for most time spent on pornhub.com (4th year in a row – congrats) and is also recognized as the Selfie Capital of the World, beating out a number of other beauty and celebrity obsessed countries around God’s Green Earth. Keep up the great work…..
OK, so with that done, let’s get back to the original topic – what I learned from dating, Filipinas and Facebook:
Multiple Accounts
A good number of Filipinas I encountered have multiple Facebook accounts, most having a “public” account, with a more private one tucked away safely somewhere. In more than a few cases, the public account is simply their name spelled backwards. For instance, Lisa Matio will simply be “Asil Oitam.” This seems to be a “thing” in the Philippines, and with all the cultural conformity, this ‘spelling your name backwards’ is pretty common. Now, I totally understand the need to have a public and private account. It just gets a little odd when you find a prospective Pinay with four or five different accounts with a confusing mishmash of conflicting information between them. To me, that’s pretty much a warning flag and I’d usually find an excuse to take a powder and scratch them off the list.
The Dark Triad
This is a forensic term applied to individuals displaying excessive narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy traits. If a Filipina’s Facebook is comprised of post after post of sexy selfies with the occasional declaration that “she isn’t that type of girl” interspersed with “people don’t understand me” and “don’t be gossiping about me, losers!,” you might want to move on. People dealing with the traits noted above don’t have the personal insight necessary to see that they are often the central cause of their drama and often portray themselves as victims. I actually talk about this more in my book, but maybe I will do a follow up article on at some point. Note that I tended to see this more with the younger women than the older ones – which I chalk up to simple immaturity and more exposure to the “importance” of Facebook and other social media from an early age.
Thousands of “Friends”
Facebook allows people to have “only” 5,000 friends in a personal account. I don’t know how they arrived at this magical number, but that’s the maximum. This is a ridiculous number and anything approaching that might be cause for worry. While dating, I actually ran across two potential women who had reached the maximum amount of friends on their Facebook account. On more than a few others, I found Filipinas that had 3-4,000 “friends” on their Facebook. Strangley enough (or sadly enough), when you go through their timeline, you’ll only see very few people actually responding with comments or “likes” to what they are posting. Which begs the question – if someone has 3-5,000 “friends,” why are only a handful of folks actually reacting to what they post? To me, that is kind of off putting – a warning flag of sorts. And speaking of thousands of “friends,” let’s move on to the subject of….
Arabs and Indians
Digging through a few Facebook accounts, I noticed a MASSIVE number of Indian, Pakistani and Middle Eastern guys in some Filipinas’ public Friends lists. And by massive, I mean just that – thousands upon thousands of them. When I asked the respective Filipinas about it (I’m not shy), most of the ladies just kind of shrugged it off, stating that they just blindly accepted friend requests. Finally, I was able to dig up an explanation from an Italian amigo of mine who has a bunch of Indian friends. Turns out, there are a bunch of user groups in those areas that collect photos and account names of cute Filipinas (and other nationalities) and share them with other group members. They then send friend requests which the Filipinas blindly accept. From there, my amigo Italiano said, they can then message any and all types of “requests.”
Ugh….
And since were on alien nationals….
Mga Porenyer Power Rangers!
If a gal gives you her Facebook and the majority of her friends are foreigners, you might want to give that some thought. Again, I am not trying to judge (much), but seeing a gal with a few hundred foreigner friends (all male) might be cause for pause….
Did I Say That?….
Finally, using Facebook during the dating process is pretty handy for separating fact from fiction. For example, if a gal is telling you that she broke up with her ex-boyfriend 9 months ago, and then you notice photos of them frolicking together at a swanky resort just a few weeks back, that just might give you some clue that she is full of shit (otherwise known as telling you what you want to hear). That’s just one example of how you can utilize “FaceSpace” to gain a more accurate assessment of who you are chatting with – there are many others.
OK, so that’s my experience with Filipinas and Facebook during my short-lived foray into dating in the Philippines. Again, if you have anything to add, please leave it in the comment section and I will update this article.
Salamuch.
Hmm? Have you watched “The Mask” with Jim Carey? Although I dont care much for him…its the message that rings so clear in one particular part of the movie….On a bridge while talking with is best friend about the woman he has meet, his friend gives him a good piece of advice..”She’s only looking for the BBD”…..Although a few of us, have met/married a nice women, many of my family, friends and co-workers over the years have not. BBD stands for Bigger, Better Deal. Unfortunately a lot of women are into that. So sorting out the wackcos from slightly sane ones is quite a task. Anyone who says they’ve never made a mistake I’d say haaaa sure….Many men I’ve talked to has had more than one wife, even Filipina wife…it just seems that in the Filipina culture there are more keepers than tossers….A lot of OFW even in a family, attracts a lot of Likers to others in the family if they have been working overseas for years. Yaaaa some facebook accounts are pretty easy to sort out…multiple accounts are usually a bad sign. If someones “not all that into you” don’t waste too much time on them…ie, taking vacations with friends…..plenty of fish in the sea…I learned from others who have been married to Filipinas from a few FB pages….I took their advice a few times.
When referencing “Arabs & Indians” you neglected to mention the most pertinent point, they’re Muslims. Due to the sexual repression of Islam, (read their book) the boys tend to go quite crazy over liberated sexy women online. Just go through their surnames………TBS, I think that the whole vlogger/youtube thing leads to a mild form of Trumpesque narcissism. Not you personally, but most by far, start to think their “15 minutes” makes them famous. Like those who endlessly post what they had for dinner photos, for lack of anything important to say, online. I mean, none of us care what Brad Pitt had for lunch today, so why the hell should we care about any Philippine Vloggers diet?
Been married to a Pinay going on 16 years. We live in the states and own a house in Davao that we spend several winter months at each year. On my first trip to the Philippines I had the occasion to be in an internet café. What I saw should be made known everywhere. I saw Gay males and old ladies pretending to be young hotties looking for love. They were using pictures of celebrities to attract foreign males and $$$$$. My first attempt at foreign romance found me a scammer. I didn’t know any better. I was taken for a ride. Cost me some bucks but I learned. My advice. Go to the smallest place out in the provinces you can find. Do not rely solely on pictures. Insist on a video chat. Pick one who comes from a very small family. It will save you big bucks down the road. If you think you have formed a relationship with one young lady and maybe you have even gone there to meet her , do yourself a favor and open an account under a different name , different country even and attempt to contact her. If she responds , it may tell you a thing or two.
Good advice.
Extremely comforting to know that I’m not looking into an abyss of loneliness with my views on fb Ed. We share a remarkably aligned view. I say that as a westerner with a fabulous Filipina wife, who spends half of her non-working life on fb, and who just shrugs off my ‘radical’ comments on the ills of social media in general, which I believe will ultimately lead to us all trudging off to hell in a hand-cart. Well, maybe not that bad, but there’s certainly a lot of bull expressed on there which can be anti-social. My other view, which does not go down too well either with the better half, is this seemingly self-gratifying trait of planting pictures on fb within a nanosecond of doing something, or arriving somewhere….it’s like having to say to the world, ‘look, I am enjoying myself!’. Maybe it grows self-worth a bit. Sorry to rant a bit, but this is the first opportunity I’ve had to share views on fb with someone who maybe won’t think me an oddball……..maybe?!!
This is scarily accurate. I have dated many filipinas and I have chatted with many, many, many, many more on Facebook, most of whom I’ve met on online dating sites. A couple of observations:
– Many of these girls have 2-6 different accounts. They will often direct you to one with a bizarre name and no actual photos. But you can find the other accounts quickly: believe it or not, filipinas often “like” their own photos from their other accounts or else they will tag their name from another account in a selfie. It’s usually easy to find the other accounts simply by sorting through these links. In sum, their accounts are almost always linked somehow, usually out of pure moronicness.
– Getting to know a filipina that you’re attracted to is all about momentum. Get as much chatting in as you can in the first session. This will sound bizarre, but a lot of times they will be allllllllll hot and bothered and making plans to meet you if not marry you. Then you say, “I’ll contact you in a few hours when I wake up” and you’ll get tons of hearts and stuff before you nod off. When you do message them the next day, as likely as not they will hardly remember you. This is CRAZY and it makes no sense, but I have seen it over and over. I think it’s just the pace at which these girls pursue guys — I imagine it’s absolutely nuts.
– A lot of times, the girl will block you from any of the accounts she doesn’t want you to see. The way around this is simple: create a second account yourself, and pose as a semi-cute girl. Find their page, send them a message that says “can you tell me where to buy that cute swimsuit?” or something and engage in a little chit-chat with them as though you were a girl. Then send them friend request. They’ll mostly likely accept it. Now you can see inside their life. It’s overwhelmingly common to immediately see that the girl has a local boyfriend. You may even be able to befriend her and chat with her and talk about her life — and see if/how she talks about her new online boyfriend.
– If you find their other account, you want to act like it just popped up on your PC and innocently ask why they have two. Nine times out of ten, they will say, “I lost the password to that other account and haven’t used it in years”. Well, remember, you already have access to it with your “fake-girl” account. So if they have made a recent posting, obviously they are flat-out lying to you. You should immediately block and forget about them. This happens very often; don’t get down about it. (Additionally, FB like any other site provides an easy way to recover a lost password, so don’t fall for this crap.)
– In the USA, in most circles selfies other than in moderation are really looked down on. You will simply not believe how many selfies these girls take. Many of them take exactly the same ones over and over and over. They’ll suddenly post 30 almost identical duck-lip pics. The cuter ones, or the freelance models, will very often have provocative poses and they will elicit hundreds of likes and emoticons from every corner of the globe. The pattern here is that as they start to really crave attention, they will get sluttier and sluttier. A perfect example is this girl who I briefly chatted with Iya Dulcinea (goes by FB name Iya Iya), a formerly very cute and dewy girl who I have followed for two years as she became a self-absorbed, pretty raunchy slut — nude pics on her IG and Facebook accounts, and endless overly sexy selfies. Not something that would be thought highly of in the USA by a longshot. Just pure desperation although she sure looks good.
– Every filipina will stop messaging you during her meals. Don’t freak out. Every single one, at least until know you her extremely well. This must be a national custom, it’s so pervasive. I believe daughters are expected to really help in the kitchen, and then to clean up.
– One of the strangest things about getting to know Filipinas on Facebook is, you’ll talk about boring stuff and them helping their mom do something and blah blah blah. Then, out of absolutely nowhere, often after a couple weeks, some of them will suddenly decide they love you (as you know, “love” a very very very loosely used word in the Phils) and you’ll wake up to a bunch of nude photos in your Messenger inbox, just like that. With American girls, it tends to be a pretty straight line as you get to know them gradually over time. With all the filipina girls I have known, it went from dead boring and at a very irregular pace for a while, to suddenly super nuclear hot with messages and sexy pics pouring in all day and night. (Btw if you ever commit the sin of viewing a message without responding, you will be in for crazy-time, believe me.)
– There are tons of scammers, but by no means all. I did one thing just to test a girl, because she’d come on so strong and I found it hard to believe. I told her to go get a tramp stamp tattoo of my name, and that I would pay for it. You know what? She did it. She took her friend to the tattoo place and video’d the whole trip there, plus the tattooing, plus the ride back, plus tons of selfies after. I couldn’t believe it. I was certain it was a scam, but I sent her the $40 just to see what would happen. The crazy part is that I never did meet her and I kind of lost touch. So there’s a very young stick-thin filipina running around her island with my name prominently displayed above her ass.
– When a filipina does the aforementioned “flip” and becomes instantly super hot, 75% of the time she just wants money. For example, she will say that if you get her a new phone there will be even hotter pics, then you’ll get her one and she will evaporate. That being said, 25% of the time it’s really what it seems: they like you, and they like you a _lot_!!!! I have had half a dozen very young innocent filipinas pick me up at the airport and go back to the hotel and have sex within minutes of entering the room, then spend two weeks with them in perfect sincere smoking-hot bliss. It’s very hard to describe how suddenly they can develop a wicked, wicked crush on you. Truth really is stranger than fiction here — you have to see to believe it.
– No matter what your relationship with the girl, NEVER, EVER FRIEND HER ON YOUR FB ACCOUNT! There are two reasons for this: (I) she will go through your page and put “Likes” on 50 posts, without having any understanding of them — even some deep political discourse with your friends. This is pretty embarrassing, because your friends will see them and wonder, who t.f. is this girl? Moreover, (ii) there is no human being on this Earth that gets as jealous as a filipina. If other girls respond to your posts or Like them and they look the least bit Asian, your girl will hunt them down and message each one and ask what her involvement with you is. Just like that. Crazy!! The girl will act butthurt that you refuse to friend her, but you just say, it’s not gonna happen, period.
– If there’s the slightest whiff of something shady, just block her. Sure, she was lovely and that breaks your heart for a couple days. But there are so, so, so, so, sooooooooo many other lovely ones. Trust me: block her and don’t look back or even think about it.
– A stable, great girl will have just one FB account, will probably put on her account some pictures of you together or at least make some sort of implication to the world about you (sometimes way sexier than they’re aware — crazy!), send you pics and vids regularly but not in avalanche fashion, won’t worry if you’re out of touch for a day or two, and so forth. It is exceedingly rare to find this kind of stability though. These girls go through guys weekly, daily, and probably hourly. Yaya, I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but it isn’t.
Been married 12 years ,2 kids 9 and 4 we met on fbook ,my wife actually sent me a friend request and i accepted it ,9 months later with mostly phonr calls and fbook only a couple video calls and i boarded a plane for 19 hours…stayed with her 33 days we got engaged my 1st night there we went to the us embasy the 2nd day and got marriage info and paperwork,that was nov 7 2011 ,then we got married 11.21.11 been 12 years ,
On 11.20.2012 i brought her to new york and home to ct.
On 11.21.2013 our daughter was born on 11.21.14 we had her 1st bday in my wifes families province neuva ecija in quezon city what a time went back in 2019 january my wife was 6 months pregnant with our son, havent been back since too expensive airfare,need to go again someday…. thanks facebook and zuckerborg we found love but no one said it was gonna be easy…