Foreigner Gossip in the Expat Community – Give it a Frikken Rest…..

Some of you who have been following the channel for a while know that a friend of ours was tragically (and brutally) stabbed to death in June of 2016.  The murder occurred during a house invasion/robbery while our friend and his American wife were house sitting in Dauin.  It was a horrible situation for all involved, and one that really opened my eyes to the reality of life in the Philippines.  For, when things strike that close to home, it can’t help but alter one’s perspective.  The murder was bad enough.  For his American wife, it was even worse – an unimaginably horrifying situation. 

And then the rumors started flowing….. First from some Filipinos that I knew and then from some overly yappy (re: bitchy) foreigner expats.  The gist of it was this, “It wasn’t an intruder that killed him.  It was his wife.”

Ah yes, here comes the chismis (gossip)…..

Now, for those who personally knew the couple, you’ll know this wasn’t possible, based solely on the fact that the wife was physically confined to a wheelchair.  Well, that and the fact that they were both absolutely loving and decent human beings.  Add to this the crime scene photos and recovered evidence (which anyone can thumb through at the police station), and there’s no way that scenario could have played out.  But yet, the rumors continued….

And apparently still do nearly a year and a half later.

This past week, my buddy Niles approached me in the gym. “Hey, you remember that guy that was murdered in Dauin… yadda yadda…. I was talking with another expat at the mall and he said that it was the wife that did it.”

I had just finished a double set and could barely breathe.  It’s hot as blazes in that gym and catching your breath takes a little while. Nonetheless, I quickly launched into a fervent diatribe about how expats need to find hobbies and quit spreading such malicious gossip.  (Actually – and in all honesty – I peppered that Rated G version with more than a few strategically placed “c&nts,” my preferred term for asinine rumor mongers.)

And then, last night while having a few beers at a boulevard bar, yet another expat left a comment on a blog post of mine bringing up that same exact rumor.  Once again, I peppered the air with a flurry of furious “c&nts” (and probably confused the other folks at the table as I didn’t offer a follow up explanation).

I am not a fan of gossip.  I don’t like involving myself in other people’s personal matters or hearing other people yap on about them.  It’s pointless and is usually just simple character assassination presented as idle talk.

And when it comes to any type of crime, such gossip can find its way to official ears and give them ideas… whether the talking points are groundless or not.

I am not really sure what the point of this blog post is – seeing that comment on my website article last night just kind of set me off.  I haven’t been feeling all that well lately, so maybe it’s just me overreacting.

Or maybe it’s just time for people to mind their own business and do their own thing without having to disparage others.


  1. Good for you. Nothing wrong with defending decent people, living or dead.

    Do you think you are hanging around the wrong sort of folks? Or is it a case of “homey hangs around homey” there, regardless of their assitude?

  2. I think you made the point quite well: Mind your own f’ing business and get an f’ing hobby. Totally agree. Many of these guys get caught up in the local (and YouTube) chismis due to the fact that they’re just plain bored. I sit down with many expats during the week and we find productive things to talk about.

  3. Fair play Ned … I hate that type of gossip but it’s not just expat that are guilty as you have indicated. Just feel so sorry for all involved … hope you feel better soon .. Baz

  4. I am in agreement,Ex-Military here, I do not do well with gossip of any kind. Some people have nothing better to do but get a kick out of starting something false and watching the animal grow. I am considering relocating there after the New Year. Maybe we can catch up one day. Cheers

  5. Hey Ned
    Did you hear about the Expat Vlogger who people say is coming down with Tourettes.
    Apparently someone saw him in a bar the other night and he suddenly started muttering and swearing and shouting out “C#$ts” and “F&ck Wits” and “Wa#k%rs” for no reason at all.
    May be the Philippines has finally got to him and he’s losing it. :–)

    Seriously people who gossip must have pretty boring lives and have nothing better to talk about so they talk about other peoples lives even if what they have to say is total Bull S^&t.
    If you hear gossip about someone don’t repeat it even if you know its true.
    It just reflects on you, your own reputation, self-respect and the respect others will have for you and if the gossip negatively impacts others let them know what is being said about them so they can put the correct information out to the world or so they can find the source of the gossip and put an end to it with blunt force if necessary.

      1. Shit. You blame me for your hang overs, now you’ll probably start blaming me for your alcoholism.
        I must be a bad person, leading you astray like that.
        I can imagine you spreading gossip about my charm and good character by saying “Watch out for that bastard Aussie named Martin, he’s an alcoholic. He gives people hangovers and turns them into Alcoholics!!!!!!!” LOL

  6. If people don’t know and can’t stick to the facts they shouldn’t talk about it injecting their own conjecture to complete their version of what they believe happened. Not what truly happened.

  7. A rumor, just like a monster out of a Godzilla film, once awaken, is difficult to kill. Usually just made to run away and be back another day… Sorry you are being haunted by is continual reincarnation. Be well!

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