Relationships

We’ve put together a number of videos relative to the Philippines on relationships.  While not a definite guide, they should provide some inkling of what you can expect to find when it comes to dating and LTR’s in our blessed little island republic.

 


Relationships: Sticking It Out – Why the pain and confusion is sometimes worth it.   🙂


Relationships:  Utilizing Leverage – The choices one has to make when using one’s status as a foreigner in the Philippines.


Relationships:  Navigating the Treacherous Seven C’s, Pt 1 of 2:  See how the Dream Team stacks up.


Relationships:  Navigating the Treacherous Seven C’s, Pt 2 of 2:  It quickly goes from bad to worse…..


Relationships:  Jealousy in the Philippines, Pt 1 of 2  –  You really have to experience jealousy in the Republic to really appreciate how crazy it can get….

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Relationships:  Jealousy in the Philippines, Pt 2 of 2  –  We finish up our two part video on the Big Green Monster, jealousy in the Philippines


Relationships:  Giving Money to the Family – Yes, it’s a part of the culture in SE Asia – see how it might effect you and how to create adequate boundaries.


Relationships:  The “She’s Different” Syndrome – We’ve all succumbed to this at one point or another.  Egads…..


Relationships:  How I Met Michell – One of our earliest videos, and one that has bad lighting, bad audio, and way too much cheesiness.  😉

 

14 comments

  1. Hi. I so enjoy your series on the philippines. Myself. Having visited 9 times in eight years you hit the nail on the head most times. QUESTION. I had married a pina first visit after only 3 weeks knowing her. She turned quit negative and manipulative right away and after two years my heart accepted what my mind told me. I left her with a house paid for and monthly remittances as we have a child. 3 years ago I found my soulmate_ also a pina and we have a child and are building a house in NEGROS not far from you. EX knows we are finished but I am concerned about possible legal expose. ANY THOUGHTS?

  2. Just came across the video on jealousy. You are right on the money. My Anna kind of threw me off after a period of time. When I was over there last summer she was so funny. Yet serious. I was teaching her daughter to swim. We would go to the pool each day after Nica ( daughter) got out of school. Later, when eating dimmer, Anna would say…” I saw those b”s looking at you. They should fall in line for their slap from me.” I thought she was kidding but really was not. Yes, it is flattering in a way but the key here is I was not looking at any of the women at the pool. I was teaching Nica to swim. She did very well by the way and the joke here is a guy from the mountains of Montana went to the Philippines to teach a Filipino kid to swim. My point is this. Anna and I have been together for over a year now. I had to go to the emergency room a few days ago for an ultrasound to make sure I did not have a blood clot ( I am fine) I met a technologist while there who was a Filipino from Cebu. I was talking to her about visa’s, told her of Anna compared notes etc etc and then went our way. I told Anna about it that evening and she was upset. Very upset. Now I understand the reason as you describe in this video. I know it is part of the trade off. You get the most wonderful, faithful, beautiful woman in the world and in return you need to be aware of their culture and this stuff will happen. It gets better with time though and as they see you are faithful and honest ( the two main ingredients for success in any relationship), it gets better. Just be patient and be thankful for what you have and it makes life much easier. Oh, and never look at any women when you are with them hahaha no you can look, its ok. They will think you looked anyway so may as well go for it. In the end it will be ok. One more thought. Anna was abandoned by her first husband. That is not an unknown circumstance there. I think the men feel that since it is not possible to get a divorce, it gives them the green light to do whatever they want. If you are meeting a Pinay who is a little older they may have experienced a bad relationship in the past. Very common over there. As Ed says, they want stability and love. If you give that to them you can get through anything but you have to be aware and have empathy for where she has been before you can move to the future happily and in peace.

    1. Yep, there are a number of cultural and systemic reasons why Filipnas (and Filipinos) get as jealous as they do. Michell and I have been together for over two years now, and it’s a lot easier now than it was in the beginning – that’s for sure. Thanks for sharing that, John!

  3. Ned keep making videos. I haven’t learned enough yet. I’m finding yours very informative on living, loving and surviving in the Philippines. I’ve met a fantastic woman on an Asian dating site, and she hasn’t asked for a thing but my love for her. I intend to come there in August for a tour but want to spend my time with her. She has the “pole position” for my heart and I want to very much be with her as well. Her smile brightens my day.

  4. I had a question. I am seriously talking to a beautiful Filipina and we have been talking for about 1 and a half months. Unfortunately I am very worried she is scamming me. She lives in a remote area and claims that the internet is not yet available for a router install at her house, so she purchases 3G data loads. She started asking me for help with this really soon after we had advanced our relationship from dating site to email and now on whatsapp. She has sent me numerous pictures and we communicate daily, but so far she has been hesitant to skype with me even though I have insisted on that. She claims not to have a computer and also has an older cell phone that cuts out on her consistently which I will say when we have spoken on the phone it has cut off several times. I told her after helping her the last time that I would not be sending anymore money until we skype and make plans for me to come there and visit her. Today she said that she had to send her rent money home because her mother is ill and now needs help with that. I dont know what to do at this juncture. She is a registered nurse so I know she makes decent money but is currently helping her family and paying for her brothers to go to the university. Any advice would be appreciated.

    1. I would NEVER send money to someone I had never met in person, much less not even seen on a live screen. There are too many scammers running numerous cons to even think of doing such a thing. Some women here actually make a career out of hustling foreigners out of their money. It’s a poor country and easy work for a pretty significant return. Hope that helps.

  5. Hey both, I’m super glad about you guys have found each other and looking happy all the way. I’m kind of presently related to what you guys have right now. My fiance is in Montana and I’m working overseas in AUH. I’m starting to doubt though of our relationship just because we have not met in person bla bla bla…. he constantly communicates, we Skype and message each other and all that. At times I tend to shut it off since my work is so hectic that I’m so beat when I got home. Since we are in this relationship and we are trying our best to meet ends, he started to go prospecting in Idaho and etc. with friends to get some gold to help him with expenses and eventually go with him in the US. I adore him so much and I can’t wait to feel him in person. “I guess money changes everything as per Madonna” I just don’t know how long I could wait… We’ve been together for almost 2years now. At this very moment I’m sad, lonely so tired at work and no one’s with me here. So yeah, that’s what it is. I just really want to someone that I can talk to with my present relationship because I don’t know how to deal with it so to speak. I wanted someone who can relate to my status today and at least get some advise. Oh btw, I sometimes talk about my sentiments but it just makes him feel uncomfortable and stressed. And I don’t like to pressure him at all I just don’t know what to do.
    Your thoughts on this???

    1. Well, this is coming in from the other perspective. Thanks for commenting, Tadz, but I have nowhere to start. Long distance digital relationships are very difficult, and things don’t really start to gel until you meet in person. Hopefully, he will visit soon so that you can both get a more accurate take on things. Good luck to you both!

  6. Working my way through your videos, and appreciated the one on “Giving money to the family.” This is actually one of the very appealing things about PH for me– I have no children, and would look forward to finding a woman with two or three children whose family I could join. With enough respect, trust and affection on all sides, I would welcome the opportunity to contribute as I was able, and leave them my estate when I go.

    But you didn’t quite answer the second point for me: “how to create adequate boundaries.” What do you do if you feel you are being looked to to contribute, when you don’t feel the relationship has progressed to that stage? I relate this to my experience in Bali, where foreigners are looked upon as an automatic source of money, and even as a guest you are expected to pick up the tab for everything. I find it quite mercenary, and my impression is the Filipinos are not that way. True?

  7. Your episode on jealousy was illuminating, so perhaps you have some advice as to how to handle an early manifestation of this. I am on a dating site, trying to meet some promising women, and when I came to PH in March, I tried to get together for coffee with a few of them just to check what chemistry there might be in person. I was very upfront that this is what I was doing, but despite the fact that I was very clear on my expectation that the first meeting would be platonic, several of them gave me a flat “Nope, if you’re seeing anybody else, forget me.” They want an exclusive relationship before we’ve even met!

    The only ways I can see around this are a) lie about my plans, or b) spend months corresponding with them all to try and identify THE ONE, and then run the risk that when you meet in person, you don’t actually like each other up close. So . . . any advice on how to navigate the jealous waters in the early stages?

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