My Philippines Dating Experience: Goodboys, Badboys and Fuckboys

Yesterday I published an article on Filipinas and Facebook relative to my short-lived Philippines dating experience.  And as I noted, although I personally abhor Facebook, it is a useful tool when it comes to the dating selection process.  Forthat particular article, you can simply click HERE .

The reason Facebook is handy is allows you some ability to separate the good from the bad from the ugly. I myself am looking for a real relationship – I want to meet someone, fall in love, get married and have a few kids.  Towards this end, I am not interested in casual relationships or spending time with people who don’t want that same thing.  Basically, I am looking for a ‘good girl’ and trying to avoid the bad gals or those simply wanting a roll in the hay/sugarcane. And as luck would have it, I soon found out that Filipinos actually have categories for all the above.

The Good the Bad and the Fuckly
Another great takeaway from my time dating in the Philippines was learning how Filipinos classify prospective mates. In short, they are (stereotypically) labeled a goodboy, a badboy or a fuckboy (without the space).  And in this enlightened age of equality between the genders, this branding can also be readily conferred to the fairer sex, making them either goodgirls, badgirls or fuckgirls. There is, of course, a bazillion exceptions to these terms: Not everyone is always a goodboy, badboy or fuckboy – due to the vagaries of the human condition, those roles sometimes morph into one or the other, with a goodboy perhaps having one too many pilsens and transforming into a fuckboi for the night or a badboy suddenly hopping off of his stolen scooter to help an old lady who has spilled her groceries…

Now, during my dating/courting, I had two ladies actually say that I was a goodboy.  Having no idea what that meant, I kind of stood there confused and could only think of…

Then, after the distinction between goodboy and badboy was made, I was secretly pleased (and a bit honored).  Sounds weird, right but that’s just me.  In fact, just the other night I saw one of the gals and I asked her, “I’m a goodboy, right?” 

“100%,” she replied.

Awwwwww…..

It was only later that I learned that goodboys can also be a bit naïve and a bit torpe (stupid, sheepish) when it comes to relationships in the Philippines….  And that made sense, too.

 

Now, with all that out of the way, here’s a quick and dirty overview of these three distinct relational archetypes. I’ve also noted their natural habitats and what they might offer in the way of courtship gifts.

In no particular order they are:

Good Boys
Goodboys are basically the guys that a gal wants to bring home to meet her parents. They are loyal, upstanding, honest, considerate and just generally all around good dudes. On the downside, they are also a bit naïve about some things, lack street smarts and can be readily manipulated by badgirls and fuckgirls.  Goodboys generally take their studies very seriously and are career and family oriented.  They tend not to spend too much time out partying with friends and are more concerned with spending quality time with their own extended familial unit. Goodboys are the guys women want to marry.  They might enjoy partying with the occasional badboy or rendezvousing with a fuckboy or two, but it’s the goodboy they want to settle down with.

Natural Habitat:  University study halls, volunteering at hospitals, helping lolas cross the street.

Courting Gifts:  Toblerone chocolate bars, flowers, the occasional heartfelt harana (courtship song).

A probable goodboy

 

Bad Boys
Bad boys can be seen as those living on the edge and celebrating life on the wide side.  They are tough, fearless, street savvy and don’t give too much thought to traditional pakikisama (smooth interpersonal relations).  Bad boys are rough, a bit feral and are not to be crossed. Many have done time or are looking forward to it.  They can punch an ignition in less than 15 seconds, punch you out in even less and can find you virtually anything you are looking for (if ya get my drift). For some reason, they also seem to be really bad karaoke singers and are most often the guy warbling/shrieking away to some sad Tagalog love song. Go figure.  Women are attracted to bad boys because they think they can change them.  They usually can’t.

Can be Found:  Stealing your scooter, the local probation office, huffing glue and guzzling Red Horse down by the waterfront.

Courting Gifts:  Provincial Jail ID bracelet, magnum of Red Horse, Balisong butterfly knife, the occasional sachet of shabu.

ummmm…dili ko mangitag away!!

 

Fuck Boys
Fuckboys (fuckbois) are the penultimate players, wandering from one gal to the next, planting their seeds and moving on.  The hunt is more important than an actual relationship and the thrill for them comes in the chase.  Their conquests are many, the deeds are sung by the gods and they’ve generally got more than one spurned ex-conquest’s angry brother after them at any one time.  Although pathogenic, some fuckboys are quite good at hiding their predatory nature, couching the reality behind a variety of false fronts.  They are charming, can be nice but are generally only concerned with one thing – separating women from their panties.

Can be Found:  Eying potential prey from the dark corner of dingy discotheques, receiving antibiotic shots at the local health clinic, making the beast with two backs with your wife while you’re at work.

Courting Gifts:  Slightly used condom, KY lubricant jelly, various and sundry STD’s.

fuckboys are easily identified by their googles…

Goodgirl, badgirl or fuckgirl?….

 

OK, so I had some fun doing this one.  What are your experiences with this? Got something to add?  If so, leave it in the comments section.

 

Later all.

 

Comments 2

  1. Never aspired to be a Badboy, when I was in my teens and early 20’s I aspired to be a Fuckboy but never really had much success at that and from then to recently I was a Noboy (no interest – I now know why).
    I don’t particularly want to be a Goodboy by the definition in this article as they sound like suckers and simps.
    You’ve met me Ned!
    What am I(besides being a piss head)? and
    If I was to look for a partner in the Western style of dating would I be regarded by Filipinas as a Fuckboy?
    Not sure if I want a Filipina who thinks her role in life is to convert Fuckboys into Goodboys as she may become addicted to it.
    That Filipino in the photo with the question “Goodgirl, Badgirl or Fuckgirl?” you left out an option “Ladyboy?”

  2. Living life in a simple and transparent manner is a lot more rewarding than one may think at first. It is the only way to really get to know someone well.
    If you are looking to find someone to share your life with then you will be looking for things you can do for them. In turn they, if they are a descent person, will also be doing things for you. That’s what sharing is all about.
    A relationship is only as good as the effort you put into it. If you want a great one then it will take some effort. A masterpiece is a lot of work. The rewards never cease.

    Choose wisely and treat kindly.

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