So, as some of you know, I recently when through an illuminating – if short lived – period of dating. For those who personally know me, I was actually able to see a good number of women in a short period of time. (Thankfully, that came to an end after I met Lyn.) And as I previously stated, the ladies were all very nice, and it was a pleasure to meet each and every one of them. What this particular article is going deal with is a takeaway from that experience – namely the singular oddness of some things that I encountered on their Facebook pages. That said, let’s get into it.
I personally loathe Facebook and don’t actually have a “real” personal FB account. The only reason I set one up was so I could create my Philippine Dreams business page. I do make some use of my “fake” account but it is VERY limited. For example, I think I only have around 15 friends on it, and those are there as we like to communicate with the Facebook messenger app which is actually quite handy.
My beef with Facebook is that it encourages narcissistic behavior (touched upon below), collects an excessive amount of personal information (the world’s biggest data mine) and recklessly distributes false information. And although good for hunting down childhood friends, I also believe Facebook is responsible for disconnecting more people from societal realities than actually connecting them.
OK, so enough of that. Here are some of the takeaways that I gained from my time dating and perusing prospective Pinay’s Facebook page. They are in no particular order, and if I missed something, be sure to add it in the comment section below so I can update it.
Filipinos Love Facebook
The Philippines is the number one user of social media in the world. Period. Out of a total population of 101 million, there are 47 million registered Facebook accounts in the Philippines. And since there are so many users, I would usually try to get their Facebook address early so that I could switch to FB messenger. It would also give me an opportunity to peruse their posts and try to get a deeper (or more shallow, in Facebook’s case) understanding of who I was talking to.
Quick Aside: In addition to social media, the Philippines just came in at number one for most time spent on pornhub.com (4th year in a row – congrats) and is also recognized as the Selfie Capital of the World, beating out a number of other beauty and celebrity obsessed countries around God’s Green Earth. Keep up the great work…..
OK, so with that done, let’s get back to the original topic – what I learned from dating, Filipinas and Facebook:
A good number of Filipinas I encountered have multiple Facebook accounts, most having a “public” account, with a more private one tucked away safely somewhere. In more than a few cases, the public account is simply their name spelled backwards. For instance, Lisa Matio will simply be “Asil Oitam.” This seems to be a “thing” in the Philippines, and with all the cultural conformity, this ‘spelling your name backwards’ is pretty common. Now, I totally understand the need to have a public and private account. It just gets a little odd when you find a prospective Pinay with four or five different accounts with a confusing mishmash of conflicting information between them. To me, that’s pretty much a warning flag and I’d usually find an excuse to take a powder and scratch them off the list.
The Dark Triad
This is a forensic term applied to individuals displaying excessive narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy traits. If a Filipina’s Facebook is comprised of post after post of sexy selfies with the occasional declaration that “she isn’t that type of girl” interspersed with “people don’t understand me” and “don’t be gossiping about me, losers!,” you might want to move on. People dealing with the traits noted above don’t have the personal insight necessary to see that they are often the central cause of their drama and often portray themselves as victims. I actually talk about this more in my book, but maybe I will do a follow up article on at some point. Note that I tended to see this more with the younger women than the older ones – which I chalk up to simple immaturity and more exposure to the “importance” of Facebook and other social media from an early age.
Thousands of “Friends”
Facebook allows people to have “only” 5,000 friends in a personal account. I don’t know how they arrived at this magical number, but that’s the maximum. This is a ridiculous number and anything approaching that might be cause for worry. While dating, I actually ran across two potential women who had reached the maximum amount of friends on their Facebook account. On more than a few others, I found Filipinas that had 3-4,000 “friends” on their Facebook. Strangley enough (or sadly enough), when you go through their timeline, you’ll only see very few people actually responding with comments or “likes” to what they are posting. Which begs the question – if someone has 3-5,000 “friends,” why are only a handful of folks actually reacting to what they post? To me, that is kind of off putting – a warning flag of sorts. And speaking of thousands of “friends,” let’s move on to the subject of….
Arabs and Indians
Digging through a few Facebook accounts, I noticed a MASSIVE number of Indian, Pakistani and Middle Eastern guys in some Filipinas’ public Friends lists. And by massive, I mean just that – thousands upon thousands of them. When I asked the respective Filipinas about it (I’m not shy), most of the ladies just kind of shrugged it off, stating that they just blindly accepted friend requests. Finally, I was able to dig up an explanation from an Italian amigo of mine who has a bunch of Indian friends. Turns out, there are a bunch of user groups in those areas that collect photos and account names of cute Filipinas (and other nationalities) and share them with other group members. They then send friend requests which the Filipinas blindly accept. From there, my amigo Italiano said, they can then message any and all types of “requests.”
And since were on alien nationals….
Mga Porenyer Power Rangers!
If a gal gives you her Facebook and the majority of her friends are foreigners, you might want to give that some thought. Again, I am not trying to judge (much), but seeing a gal with a few hundred foreigner friends (all male) might be cause for pause….
Did I Say That?….
Finally, using Facebook during the dating process is pretty handy for separating fact from fiction. For example, if a gal is telling you that she broke up with her ex-boyfriend 9 months ago, and then you notice photos of them frolicking together at a swanky resort just a few weeks back, that just might give you some clue that she is full of shit (otherwise known as telling you what you want to hear). That’s just one example of how you can utilize “FaceSpace” to gain a more accurate assessment of who you are chatting with – there are many others.
OK, so that’s my experience with Filipinas and Facebook during my short-lived foray into dating in the Philippines. Again, if you have anything to add, please leave it in the comment section and I will update this article.