OK, so a bunch of people (if three is actually a “bunch”) messaged me about the altercation that I had at the dentist’s office early this week. There’s not much to say about the incident (but I will anyways), and it’s not like it turned into a brawl or anything, but it does provide some feel for the type of American expats that you will sometimes encounter whilst abroad.
And take it easy – don’t get your panties in a twist and start screaming that I am stereoty ping all Americans or – as another vlogger claimed – that I am “Anti-American.” I actually love the good old US of A, served in her armed forces and wake up just about every morning appreciating that I was born and raised in a First World nation. The US in particular is pretty sweet – a former imperial colony that became developed over time into diverse melting pot that it is today. And as for stereotyping some of Americans expatriates – if you’ve run into this particular type, you’ll know exactly what I am talking about.
Anyhoo – back to the story.
So, there I was – waiting for my yearly teeth cleaning in Dr. Garupa’s waiting room. Another expat gent (Francois) was there whom I had never met before, so we started up with some small talk. He was a young Frenchman who had started a kite-surfing business down south in Zamboangita. (Zambo is in southern Negros and benefits from strong, off-shore breezes.) Another gentleman entered the office while we were chatting away, heard Francois’s accent and asked him where he was from. Francois asked why he was inquiring and the guy said, “Because I ask everyone.” Which – from that statement and his accent – pegged him as a potential One-of-Those-American-Expats.
“France,” Francois replied, glancing over at me somewhat questioningly.
I shrugged and added, “Well, I’m American but I tell people I am from Canada as everyone seems to hate Americans.” It’s a line I often employ – and seeing as how comedy is based on tragedy, I usually get a pretty good response from it.
And this is where it gets good – or in this case, bad.
The new guy (we’ll call him Tom) then says, “Well, the only reason that people hate Americans is because of the n&gger that’s in the White House.”
Yep – I already warned you.
That kind of American expat.
Now, you all know that I don’t like talking politics. It’s always a lose-lose scenario for those involved – especially when alcohol or a trip to the dentist are involved. Another thing that I can’t stand is people using certain ethnic slurs. “N&gger” is an ugly word – probably the most reprehensible word in the English language. Coming in a close second are “spic, wop, gook, chink” and all the rest. I don’t use that language, and in this day and age (the 21st Century, yo) there really isn’t any place for it. Yeah, I know some people are thinking to themselves, “But American blacks use it all the time!” And you would be correct, but in that context, one has to realize that there are socio-exceptions to using certain terms in certain company: Irish can call each other “Micks” and Jews can throw around “Hebe” when amongst their own. It’s basically just a matter of context.
Anyways, let’s continue…
So, the newly-arrived American just hit me with a double whammy – Vocalizing his politics and then effortlessly adding “n&gger” to the mix. The result had a surprisingly synergistic effect with the total level of offensiveness actually being more than the sum total of the individual parts. Got to give credit where credit is due, after all: Good old Tom really hit that one out the park.
I didn’t like it one bit.
Still seated, I said, “Oh, man, you’re not gonna say that…..”
“But he is a n&gger!” My fellow American insisted.
I stood up.
“Shut the f@ck up.”
“No, I’m not and I’m not a racist. He’s destroying the…”
“Shut the f@ck up.”
I was kind of seeing red at this point. Both of us were standing in the small waiting room, in each other’s faces with me basically repeating “Shut the f@ck up.” and him insisting that he wasn’t racist. I’m not really sure why he was saying this as I never accused him of being racist – perhaps he simply had the insight needed to make the necessary correlation.
At this point, I’ve basically had it. I am not thinking too clearly at this point, and all I can remember is thinking, “OK, he’s older than me so I can’t punch him. I can – however – slap him; just got to make sure he doesn’t go down and crack his skull on the tile…..”
Suddenly, maybe seeing the calculations going on in my head, Tom decides to back down, discretion getting the better of valor.
“OK, OK…. I’ll stop.” He says, backing up a few steps.
“Cool.” I reply, deflating a bit and sinking back onto the bench. The Angry American is still standing and I glance over at Francois who is staring at me with a rather stunned expression.
I take a deep breath and say, “And that is why I tell everyone that I am Canadian…..”
Angry Americans
I initially felt pretty good about the situation. I stuck up for my values and didn’t let it get completely out of hand. As time passed, however, and I reflected a bit more, I sadly realized that it wasn’t exactly my best moment. And – more pointedly – it didn’t do a single thing to diminish the stereotype of the Angry American traveling or living abroad.
Uh…. Yeah….that guy was Tom.
And that guy was me.
As expatriates – regardless of our nationality – we are basically acting as ambassadors of our home countries, even if only in a limited capacity. I think about this a lot as I go about my day and usually do my best not to be the Angry American – to accept things in the Philippines for how they are, to be patient and compassionate and to limit my bitch sessions to sodden nights at a local dive bar with equally sodden fellow expats. I am usually pretty successful in these endeavors. At other times, though – not so much.
Yes, he was wrong for dropping an N-bomb in the middle of a public waiting area, among people he didn’t know. But by getting in the guy’s face and threatening physical violence, I wasn’t any better. Some might even say my response was far worse. Regardless, it was bad and not my proudest moment. Yes, I was the Angry American and a total fail as an ambassador to my home nation.
Denouement
The story ends well. After I came out from my teeth cleaning he apologized and I returned it, stating that I had overreacted. Another guy that I go to the gym with was there (he came in halfway through the confrontation) and there was a lot of back-patting going on (which kinda hurt as I was dealing with nerve pain – a stinger – in my neck) and following that, we all went our separate ways.
Francois was gone by then, and I can only imagine his thoughts following the brouhaha.
“Doze Amereecans. Dey are very crazy!”
Sorry, man – for both being the Angry American and for making fun of your accent.
You did fine Ned. I’m not sure if I could have held myself in check under those circumstances. I have a real bad taste for racists and womanizers alike.
You have nothing to be ashamed about. The other dude was a complete idiot for saying what he did. People don’t hate Americans because of Obama. That started many years ago. I used to travel a lot years ago and people would ask if I was an American. I said that I am Canadian and the response quite often would be a positive one. But we have our bigots here as well. My wife and I took a scenic tour to the 30,000 island in Northern Ontario and there were many people that were from India and Muslims as well anyway this man behind me heard them speaking in their on language and he remarked that we speak English here in Canada. Who knows how long they have here? They were not talking to him but with each other. We came to Canada more than sixty years ago and no one spoke English at the time. But we learned. My mother and father taught themselves how to read English. I am a proud Canadian but am also proud of my heritage. Anyway Ned my wife who is also a filipina and I watch you on you tube all the time, and we do not think of you as an ugly American. Stand up for what you believe in.
Thanks, Keith. Yeah, there seems to be a lot of fear, anger and resentment behind a lot of this stuff. We were both in the wrong, however – both of us being “Ugly Americans…..”
Go canadians but usa is much cheaper so i live in canada and shop in amerika … But food is much more tasty in europe but the woman more sweet in asia i am lost there is only one race of people the human race … If you are red yellow whit black or what ever we a are all human and one race
Couple thousand years and we’ll probably all be a fetching shade of peanut butter brown…. 🙂
Good article Ned. I’m Australian and have been totally flummoxed when some of your fellow country men here, have been calling him that “Muslim Communist”. As an outsider looking in all I can say is that he represents himself and your great nation very well, and the First Lady is a class act of dignity and poise. Racism stems from ignorance, we from Australia are as guilty as anyone of that same ignorance; but one would hope that those of us who have the opportunity to travel would become educated enough to realize racism reveals everything about our small minds and nothing about the defenseless victim.
Ned you have shown commendable emotional intelligence in that you have reflected on how you handled the situation and seen that you could have done better. You will learn from that and modify your approach next time something similar occurs. You are striving to be a better Ned and this is all you can ask of yourself. None of us are perfect, I like where you are headed. I have been reading Carlos Santana’s autobiography and he freely admits that whilst he has aspirations to an ideal he hasn’t always been able to live up to that. Your self analysis, admission to, and ownership of, your mistakes is admirable. You will be a great role model to any little Ned’s that come along. Your heart is in the right place Ned, that is what Michel sees. 🙂
Awwww, shucks. Yep, it’s all true!!! 🙂 Thanks, Pat.
Ned Jr. here. You make me very proud daddy. :))
Thanks, son.
/mwhaaaah!
I’ve had a couple instances recently that were eye opening and revealing of where some Americans heads.are.at. you found.one.
Friend just came back from Vancouver BC some kind of a Canadian holiday with fireworks his reaction to the people was Canadians are much more patriotic than Americans are.
My wife and a couple friends where in the living room watching duterte be inaugurated clapping and cheering few American’s do that nowadays.
I’m right there with you with derogatory racial comments none of us are all that we all have our struggles
Sorry to disagree with you, but if you had not spoken up he would have assumed you agreed with him and said something even worse, which may have caused your fuse to burn down to detonation point and then you would have even bigger problems than Francois witnessing an ugly American confrontation.
As an Australian I have no problems with your language as everyone knows ‘all Australians are crass colonials’ but if you do constantly run into idiots just stop and think about how you are going to deal with the situation when it occurs in future and have it all planned out so you can stay cool and calm and in control of the situation in future.
As for Mr Obama I think he is probably the most presidential of all recent presidents or his two potential replacements.
As for me I am sad to admit I am a racist myself, but I don’t let it stop me from getting to know people in the groups to which I object and do count some as friends.
Ugly Foreign guests. Hmmm intoxicated Australian dropping f-bombs every 5 seconds while his buddy asks your friends girlfriend to dance. The guy that insists on you being his friend because you are from the same continent. I have met some characters since arriving in Dumaguete. There is a reason many locals don’t like foreigners. The 5% of a-holes that give them reason. Ned it’s never wrong to do what’s right. Opinions are like a## holes. Everyone has one and most stink .
Haha – well said. And since you live here, you know the type I am referring to. 🙂
The reason I came to the Philippines is to get away from the states and the crap it grows. I never talk to other Americans. Call me anti-social I don’t care. I am not here for the American dream I am happily married to a Filipina and living the Philippine dream.
We all have to follow our bliss! Good for you, James!
I agree as well, you were in a spot of datant we it comes to people from other countries such as Francois. Nipping it in the bud with Tom was the way to go but getting yourself so upset is’nt good for you either. I ; personally am not happy with the President or Hillary but comments being said there isn’t needed. My question to you since you are a more of a resident than I since I have been here just shy of a year, sinI am still a legal voter what are my step’s and time frame for getting my vote in in time?
Yeah, I didn’t feel so good after that particular adrenaline dump. Can’t help you on the voting stuff, as I haven’t voted since I moved here. Sorry I can’t be of more help with that.
First of all, ignorance and racism exist in every ethnicity and not just in America. If I may, I want to point out a few things you’ve mentioned in your story, which I’m not sure if you’re aware about. Before I continue on allow me share my background with you; I’m born and raised in Seattle with my ancestry being of American/Filipino and like you have served in the military for almost 30 years. With my ancestry being American/Filipino, I’m proud to be an American.
I find it interesting that you claim to be Canadian because the world hates Americans, yet int the same sentence you claim to love America; a bit contradictory. As a veteran that you are, you served defending the very principle that makes America who she is…a free nation. In other words, the freedom to express one’s opinion whether we agree with it or not. Therefore, if you’re proud to be American, then don’t be afraid to tell anyone you’re an American.
Secondly, I agree with you regarding the N word as being a word of hate. However, it does not make it right for ANYONE to use such word. I have black friends who themselves find it offensive when people in their community would use the word freely, yet are fast to claim racism if used by other ethnicity, again it’s contradictory. If it’s a hateful and hurtful word for them, then they should refrain from using the word as leaders in their community want to stop its use.
America is in turmoil today because of political deference and it’s ruining our country. And to be honest, it’s normal to blame the president as he is at the helm at the moment, but the gentleman was wrong for using the N word.
In summation, if you’re proud of being American, then don’t be afraid/ashamed to tell people. Ignorance and racism exist in every ethnicity, but more importantly we both served to protect and defend our constitution giving our fellow Americans the right to express themselves. The N word is a word of hate and should not be used by ANYONE. Racism is still present in America and there’s still work to be done to eliminate it, but we must admit that we’ve come a long way as a nation. I love your work and I follow your postings in youtube. I just thought I’d share my points with you.1
I see your point, Rob and thanks for noting it! Much appreciated.
So what is the negative feelings you get in Philippines that make you want to say you are from Canada. I’m American and have always said I am an American anywhere I go. Is there anti-American sentiment in the Philippines now?
Well, there is anti-American stuff coming from “some places” in the Philippines, but I joke about being Canadian based on some bad experiences I have seen with loud, arrogant Americans being stereotypical “ugly Americans abroad.”
I had a similar experience in Bohol. I find it strange that another American ex-pat, married to a brown Filipina, can still be a racist. It makes me wonder if he sees his wife as an inferior or as a piece of property or what? My parents didn’t raise me to hate anyone, so I am always surprised when I meet American ex-pats who seem to hate everyone and mistakenly assume that I feel the same way because, like them, I’m a white American. In a similar vein, I wonder why so many Americans come to the Philippines and then want to turn it into an American suburb? Sure, there are many things in the Philippines that could be done differently, but it’s not our job to “improve” things by changing them. Like you, Ned, I think we can help others when we have the opportunity, but that’s different from wanting to make the Philippines more like the U.S. If they don’t like the Philippines, ex-pats should go somewhere else.
I concur, Ken. Well said and thanks for commenting!
I don’t think standing up to a racist makes you an angry American. Sure you could have handled the situation differently but I suspect Tom wouldn’t have gotten the point that his behavior is unacceptable. I am a Canadian who’s been watching your election and if there was ever a time to stand up for equality now would be that time.
BTW feel free to call yourself a Canuck, we’d be happy to have you and Michelle.
Haha – Honorary Canucks! Cool. Yeah, I was watching the election when I was back in the States as well. We don’t have cable TV in our Philippines house (by choice), and I’m glad I don’t – it just makes me sad. 🙂
I love teasing Canadians by asking them which part of the USA they are from :–)
Well said mate.
I would have simply asked ‘Tom,’ “what is it about the color of a man’s skin that makes you think he’s somehow inferior to you? And how do you know that difference isn’t one that actually makes you the inferior one. Because certainly your attitude and ignorance implies the latter.” Let him chew on that.
Or I could have asked what he was doing in the Philippines if he didn’t like “darkies.” 🙂
You handled it acceptably. Our country is as divided as i have ever seen it, racial tensions and xenophobia are both very high. It is an unfortunate circumstance that we are so unnaccepting of values across political lines. I am terrified that in November we have the choices we do. Neither candidate represents the values forged our country, one is a fascist, one is a socialist, neither have the humility to accept what needs to be done. Time will tell
I hope it works out as well, and I have a feeling it will. Thanks, Rand.
Ned, Kudos to you! Racist idiots like that need to be checked constantly. Perhaps if they were challenged more frequently they would shut the f*** up. I was always amazed how casually some Americans make racist comments. I lived in the Florida panhandle for a number of years and was on the receiving end of similar comments many times. I regret that I did not challenge most of the racist idiots, possibly because the problem was so endemic there or possibly because I was afraid I’d get my white ass kicked. But, once while I was in Moscow a Russian shared a similar comment so it’s not just a USA problem…
Oh, it’s an issue all over the place. I like Florida myself, but yeah, I noticed that myself.
Hey Ned,
thanks for sharing your latest adventure.
I realize that you don’t have time to go on FB a lot, but here in America Tom was about average for those on the right, especially the christian right. At least he had the balls, to say the N word out loud. Most of the fools that think this way usually use code words so they can’t be accused of being racist.
I admire the way that you and Michelle keep your videos funny and informative without bringing politics into them most of the time.
Sorry for the rant but i am truly saddened by what has happened to America, it’s like two different countries, divided in half.
Anyway thanks for sharing. Bless you and keep your hands up. LOL
Yeah, when I was back in the US in April, I picked up on that as well. Hope it all works out!!
Great article! My mom taught me to never sink to the other persons level. You realize that you did. Maybe next time you can remain collected and resolve the despicable behavior in a rational manner. It is very difficult to do, but with practice you can master it.
I agree that we Americans don’t seem to use our manners very well. It is embarrassing when I travel out of the country and seem to be able to pick out the Americans because or their obnoxious behavior.
I am also a proud American who is great full to God that I was born there. These incidents make me very embarrassed. I love the Canadian thing!
Yeah, next time I will (hopefully) know better. And I, too, love my Canadian joke. It always goes over well!
I’m with you Ned, I don’t like the President’s politics and I will leave it at that. I respect the office of the President. There is never a need to bring Racism into any conversation.
My wife and I have been the recipient of that kind of anger (mixed couple, me White she Filipina 21yrs married) here in California of all places. We are looking forward to retirement in Batangas in 3yrs.
Yep. Never a need for it. It’s just brings out the worst aspects of human nature. Thanks, Robert and good luck on your retirement plans!
People get real emotional when they think their beloved country is being flushed down the toilet. Whether it is or not – keep that in mind. Also, there’s a reason why some people pack their bags and leave a first world country for a third world. Keep that in mind too.
For the sunny skies and pretty Pinays?
Ned, this might sound like I’m defending the guy, but I believe that we all have to understand that Americans’ views can be a product of how they were brought up.
I knew a lady who grew up in New Hampshire, and she always said that she could never understand racist views, and why people would use the N word. Years later, her job relocated her to Atlanta. After living there for a while, she said, “Now I understand. I finally get it.” So, I think we have to walk in that persons shoes, to be able to understand why they believe what they believe.
I still think there’s no excuse for its use. It’s a filthy word.
Agree with the consensus, Ned. We all have buttons and he hit one of yours. Might have bypassed the vulgarity on your part. One of my favorite phrases is the Downton Abby quote about “Vulgarity Is no substitute for wit.” I also would claim to be from Thunder Bay, Ontario on many occasions overseas.
Haha – I am usually fairly witty, but once my fuse blows, it all goes out the window.
It is normal to anger at injustice and disrespect. I do think it is important to note that the gentleman apologized, maybe he will give pause for thought, but I think that is a bit much to hope for. Unfortunately, and this is only my opinion, I don’t think his beliefs are not isolated to expat. He probably feels a little more uninhibited since he is isolated from mainstream America. I am also an Army vet, put myself through college, and Caucasian. In my opinion, the privileged above all the privileged in America (a country I believe in with all my heart), but I also know that some of the off handed comments, even among my closest friends, imply the same feelings as this gentleman. I am deeply sorry for it. At the end f the cold war, we had a chance to be Athens, and we chose Sparta. The analogy is to highlight the America First mentality, and as a white man in a rainbow country, it is my opinion there is a segment that can’t let go of the power they have wielded for the past 240 (ish) years this country has been in existence. We are better for our diversity, and always have been. It’s too bad it is not realized by my countrymen more. But, that is my opinion, and worth the computer screen it is typed on. You did ok Ned, good karma to you buddy.
Thanks for taking the time to write that, Roger. Much appreciated. 🙂
*I don’t think his beliefs are isolated to expat*…so much for all that ed-gu-ma-cation
Oh yeah, those beliefs are ubiquitous across the planet.
It takes a bigger person to admit that he could have handled the situation better. As a lesson, and 20 – 20 hindsight… just ask yourself what Gandhi would have done…
Ugh, Gandhi was the last thing on my mind. And yeah, I could have handled it differently. I’ve been hearing crap like that for a long time here, and I finally just exploded. 🙁
What you did in the way of refusing to accept the behavior of Tom was of course admirable but why does the tendency towards violence (as a means to settle disputes) happen so frequently in American culture?
Obviously physical strength of an individual has absolutely no correlation with truth or justice yet it seems like with many Americans this ‘I’ll kick your ass’ mentality wins over, even if it doesn’t become physical.
Would an equally acceptable response not have been: “Oh well OK, I don’t abide racial slurs regardless of the character of the accused so I will not continue this conversation.”
In my opinion it’s better than “Shut the f@ck up.” anyway.
Ah, Andy Gee – my Dumaguete neighbor. In hindsight, that is exactly what I should have done. We were both the “Ugly American” in this instance. Not my best moment……
A dentist office confrontation “eh?” Well…I can’t imagine ppl being in a great mood with all that background drilling sound lol! We were on vaca in Jamaica where I had a reaction from a US expat over an ex politician. He was so passionate that he kept telling me to f-you! Well I’m not one of these push over Canadians that comics make jokes about and during my years have spent several year as a professional cooler almost exactly like Dalton from the movie Roadhouse…just as skilled and agile yet much uglier and 300 lbs. Luckily his friend intervened sensing something not knowing my past where I offered some insight on Canadian support and friendship. When the Trade Center was being attacked and the skies were quieted…Canadian Airports accepted diverted air traffic…google Gander NFLD Sept 11 2001.
Yeah. The dentist office. Didn’t see that one coming! I bounced for a while as well but failed to apply any sort of de-escalation techniques in this instance. Thanks, Til.
Ned, I don’t think you have any need to apologize. In your place I probably would have bit my lip and then fumed the rest of the day for not speaking up. (I don’t enjoy arguing with idiots). That guy needed to be called out. He probably gets away with spouting that crap because he is often surrounded by Filipinos who are too polite and mannered to call him on it. But that language is not acceptable. I say good for you. Those kinds of Ex-pats make us all (Americans) look bad.
We are all ambassadors of a sort of our home nation when whilst traveling. I still kind of failed in that instance, but most of the time I am pretty good! 🙂
I will tell a quick story about this subject although this is not an ex-pat but the boyfriend of my fiancee’s sister. They have been talking online for nearly 4 years. Seems a little excessive to me before meeting but to each their own. He finally came to visit in June. When he arrived he went around constantly telling store owners to turn down the music ( haha in the Philippines? Good luck on that one) Directing all in the family to eat all the food on their plate, brought chocolate praying hands and crosses ( in a Catholic country?) and told everyone they must pray for ten minutes every hour and basically presented an image of being the smart American that has come to share his “intelligence and insight” with inferior Filipinos. Then he started on the politics stuff and the anti-black thing and more. Needless to say no one liked him. Anna would not allow our daughter to be anywhere near him during his visit. I wish I had been there so I could have asked him if he had noticed the skin color of the woman he was “in love” with. I was not there fortunately as I am not sure I could show the same control you did in this situation at the dentist but I am sure he is not the only one who comes to the Philippines with that attitude. I too served my country in military with honors and am proud to be an American. I am also proud to have met a wonderful woman and family from the Philippines. We do not have a corner on truth all the time in this world. Of course Anna’s sister is sticking with him as she just wants to come to the US and maybe she sees something in him. The rest of the family does not. Bad impression of Americans has been left by this idiot. And no, no one on the bus or in the stores turned down the music. I would have paid to have seen that one. Nice job with this fool Ned.
Haha – nice one, John, and thanks. Sorry to hear that – for some reason, there seems to be a good number of asinine American bigots in the Philippines. And yes, I also have to wonder about the skin color of thier significant other when they start in with that nonsense.
In life one must stand for beliefs that are correct, true and ethical. You did just that…good for you! I was lucky enough to be born and raised in a Mexican American inner city suburb, East Los Angeles. Coupled with that, I have an Anglo surname…Kinsey (mother Mexicana/father Scottish). Henceforth, in my work place travels, I was subjected to the Anglos belittling the minorities of the world. And yes, all the degrading superlatives were used liberally. If you can think of it…I heard it. These people did not know that my Mom was the classic petite brown skinned Indian looking woman you see in the National Geographic magazine photos. Many of these people did not mind dating and have physical relationships with latinas, but would speak disparagingly of them after words. And again, they would feel comfortable enough to confide in me all their racist “shit” (sorry can not help myself). You get the picture I am attempting to paint.
That being said, When confronted with a verbal cowardly bigot…I simply ask “Would you say these hateful words in Boyle Heights (East Los Angeles), Compton, Detroit, Atlanta…?” What cowards these type of people really are.
Granted my point of enlightenment came after many episoded of…”You’re a F^^^ken idoit, F^^^k you…you stupid f^^ken bigot and my all time favorite…” quit f^^^ken talking to me.” So Ned, you did good kid. As you can see I have gone threw a lot of soul searching to get to where I am today. Only took me 60 years…so much wasted emotional time.
I could have done it a bit better without blowing my stack. Thanks for taking the time to share that, Tom. Much appreciated!
It is amazing how that crap travels.The natural me don’t like it, but I forgive them after I pity them. They know not what they do! There is only one way to make this world a better place. We must love one another.I have people in my circle that speak their mind and if I think they are exhibiting jacked up feeling or thoughts I let them know and I expect them to keep me straight as well. I have problems with our leaders too! But on the inside they are just human with flaws like the rest of us. That is a hard job and you will screw things up and not please everyone. Imagine if everyone was the exact same color, height,etc. Then what? I got to admit I’m to afraid of hell to hate anybody!!!
A few thousand years, most of us will be a lovely shade of peanut-butter brown…..
I was at a restaurant table with some expats on Panglao Island once. They started to really disgust me with the way they were talking with such crude sexual innuendos. All of them had girlfriends or wives at their side and I just felt the conversation was not appropriate with, “ladies”, present. Maybe an old fashioned standpoint but, being a gentleman in front of women is still important to me. One woman said to her man that whenever he came back from the bars his hands always smelled like p__ssy. Really?! Great guy. Everyone at the table laughed at that and that is when I felt I did not want to be with these people.
There’s a time and a place for juvenile behavior, I guess. But yeah, some guys will occassionally blurt out stuff and it’s like, “Really, dude? What are we – in junior high school?”
mabuhay ned,
these problem is all over the world,… the germans have it,… the dutch have it, the aussies have it, also the canadiens have it,…… sometimes it is a disadvantage that you speak the same language and therefor you can understand the words these typ of guys ( maybe the correct spelling in this case whould be “ex pat”…) are using….. you did fine… dont ruin your day,… just becouse you ran into an idiot…..
stay cool there …..
always waiting for your videos…..
Thanks, Peter. Much appreciated.
You are a better man than i. But I think being in the military people get to know people of other races. We see people as either officers or enlisted people. I have given up friends over 20 years ever since obama became president. It seems that their inner racist feelings have came out. My father is hillbilly and mother is mexican-puerto rican. When I got in my twenties(30 years ago) my father vet (who was the boss at a mixed factory) said people are people. The ones that are usually racist are uneducated people afraid of not mattering. I enjoy your videos.
I like that “uneducated people afraid of not mattering.” It gives that ugly condition a more human aspect. Thanks, Jonathan.
Ned! “Tom”said he is not racist…You believe him? Maybe he really isn`t but just as not from USA? Did he really said where he comes from, I just think as couldn`t clearly understand because my poor “finglish”! I mean that I`ve raised maybe at the same time of years like “Tom” and because every language is living and changing so rapidly through the years other people read the meaning very different for the same word. Ni&&er I can even in English language understand a bad word but how about Negro = meaning Black? Not all dark skinned people are blacks or negros I mean. In Finland where I come from this bad word is Nekru = ni&&er but only some tenth of years still I can read in school books ABC for grade 1 at elementary school… letter N “Neekeri pesee kasvojaan muttei valkene ollenkaan” meaning Negro washes his face but not moving his face for a white colour….something like that as this small poem teaching small people letter N ! Is it racist school book? For me it`s not how I learn it and STILL use Negro word for impressing dark coloured people in my speach …neekeri but for sure not nekru is your Mr. President for me as speaking about him. As like Negros Oriental, Negros Occidental ( maybe also in dental treatment waiting room in RP 🙂 ) Youngsters here speak so many words based from american English that we 60+ really have broplems to follow what the f&&k they are talking about 🙂 Anyway! You did great as didn`t loose your mind too bad and this story which I did read gives me more and more RESPECT on you. God bless and continue your great channel.
I’ve always been offended by that word. You did the right thing in speaking up and I would be willing to bet that he will think twice before using it in public again! It was quite interesting reading the comments, especially by those who are not American.
President Obama did not get elected without whites voting for him. Not everyone who opposes him and his policies are racists. There is plenty to disagree with politically without race being a part of it. Some people I’m sure dislike him because of his race, but I’d like to think that for many it is because they disagree with his politics.
There are literally millions of Americans who have been harmed by policies he has driven and who feel he has done a terrible job. There are also millions of Americans who have personally benefited and feel he has done a good job.
No argument that for those of us who still vote in the US and are following the elections that we have two TERRIBLE candidates now!
Like you I served in the US military. One thing that was constantly emphasized, whether it was a port visit or we were stationed in a foreign country, was that we were Ambassadors for our country. I served 33 years so I’ve a bit of experience there 😉 I’m still bothered when I see someone acting out in an embarrassing manner. We have to decide based on each unique situation the best way to handle it. Just remember that hindsight is always 20/20 :)) As I said at the beginning I think you were right to speak up. A little righteous indignation in this situation will certainly give this guy something to think about before he uses a word like that again!
Thank you for taking the time to add that, Ron. Much appreciated!
l actually am Canadian. American politics is a sad situation and l usually avoid the topic because it seems to make all Americans angry if they attempt to talk about it in a calm and rational way.
American politics are the suck. Especially now. Let’s all hope is gets straightened out.